Believe you can

In any therapeutic intervention that is designed to achieve change, it is important to have an understanding of the beliefs and values held by the person wishing to change. NLP therapists are able to work with clients to eradicate limiting beliefs. NLP therapists are available to provide NLP in Herts. Have you ever taken the time to stop and think about your beliefs and values. Ask yourself – where have my beliefs originated? How do they guide how I live my life? Do my values and beliefs serve me? Beliefs and Values form the essence of your identity and you should ask yourself these questions for the following reasons: Beliefs are like a pair of glasses: Put your glasses on and they filter how you view the world. Beliefs act in the same way. You will have beliefs about yourself, your skills and capabilities, how others see you and what type of person you are. You will also have beliefs about other people, how they operate, how to communicate with them, what drives them. Basically, you have beliefs about everything, including the world, politics, social issues, concepts, and religion. Beliefs underlie your internal representations, which is your map of the world. Your beliefs also filter sensory data that you take in from the environment and favour sensory data that supports and confirms your beliefs. We know form NLP models that the internal representations people hold effect their emotional state and behaviour. Therefore, beliefs have an influence on your emotional state and behaviour. Beliefs and Values are your motivators: The core beliefs you hold are your motivators, they are the basis from which you function in the world. People tend to works towards things that they value. For example, if you value having a high-powered career this may take priority over other aspects of your life such as time with your family. Beliefs distort how you view the world: Every belief and value is basically a generalisation that you have made abut the world. Generalisations are distortions. Often when a client presents with a problem, there is a distorted belief or value behind it. For example, “my partner doesn’t phone me enough, this means he doesn’t love me”. Once you are able to become more aware of the distorted beliefs you hold, it is possible to begin to question them and challenge them. NLP therapy has a specific tool called the meta-model that is able to uncover the troublesome distortions and generalisations that people are making. Beliefs and values determines what happens to you Beliefs about the world and yourself can actually determine what happens. They are not just thoughts but effect what you focus on. We know in NLP that what you focus on your more likely to get. This is because your unconscious mind cannot understand negatives. So for example, if you focus on not being in debt, your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for debt in the environment and various ways to bring debt to your attention. NLP therapy teaches people the importance of communicating in the positive when you are thinking. This means saying what you do want not what you don’t want. Most people have heard of the placebo effect. This is a phenomenon in which a pill is given which contains no active ingredients. There are many studies that show that people given a placebo will experience a therapeutic benefit and in some cases get well based on the belief that they will be well. Changing your beliefs: As an NLP therapist, people often come to see me at my OT, NLP, CBT and hypnotherapy practice in Herts because they are having problems with limiting beliefs, e. g. “No one could find me attractive”, “I cant lose weight or give up smoking”, “I’m useless in social situations”, “I’m bad at presentations”. Of, course, they are often not aware that their belief is the source of their unhappiness when they initially come to see me. Limiting beliefs hold people back and prevent them from doing things they want too. When we believe we cant do something our behaviour will usually confirm this. As discussed above, you will act in a way and look out for evidence to confirm your beliefs. NLP and CBT therapy has effective techniques for changing illogical and limiting beliefs that can allow you to move on and experience the world through a new pair of glasses. There is no excuse to let your limiting beliefs hold you back any longer!

How to excel in your performance

It is generally known that to excel in any given sport or activity, you will need skill, natural talents, and lots of practice. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that people spend much time training and practicing to get better at any given activity. What people often neglect, however, is how important the mental and emotional outlook can affect performance. The best of them all are not only the ones with the best skills or with the most practice, but the ones with the toughest, most competitive, and positive minds. This is especially true when you consider how some of the better skilled people you know failed somehow because of many reasons such as being distracted or having a bad case of the jitters. Now given this, how can you prepare your mind for the activities ahead to ensure that you have the proper head on your shoulders when coming out to meet the challenges each performance? Focus During any performance – especially in sports – you are subjected to an undue amount of stress to perform at your peak. And excelling in your performance will generally involve being able to concentrate in any situation. If you are unable to focus and concentrate on the task you are to undertake, you are more likely to fail or make mistakes. In competitive sports, the winner is often the one who keeps a level head until the end. In basketball, the last second free throw that could win the game is often greeted with all sorts of distraction from the fans (who do all sorts of unsettling things), from his opponents, and even from the player himself. If the player buckles under the pressure, it could mean that the point or two – may win or lose the ballgame. To improve focus, you must be able to tune out unnecessary thoughts and stimulus, and concentrate solely on what must be done. The great ones are often asked what it feels like to be on center stage amidst the lights and the pressure. Most of them reply that they are anxious before the performance, but confident during the performance itself. This is because they are able to zone out unimportant thoughts to concentrate on the task head. Confidence Confidence is built up with competence. You can develop a strong sense of ability when you are indubitably sure of what you can achieve. The more well prepared you are, the less anxiety you feel, therefore increasing your chances for a great performance. But what happens when, after building competence, your confidence is suddenly shattered? That would certainly spell doom for any performance. Confidently performing beyond limitations is possible if you are not holding back anything and giving all you have. When the confidence is gone, you will instinctively hold back and become tentative towards the task ahead. What we’re talking about here is not simply a 5 to 10 percent decrease in performance, because such mental tentativeness will easily lose you about 20 to 50 percent of your potential. This is the reason why coaches, players, and even businesspersons like playing mind games with their opponents. If they are able to break them down way before tip off, then they have a decided advantage over their opponents. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that they have won the battle halfway even before it started.

How to create a sacred space

Do you sometimes wish you could just quit your job, and take off for a week (or more), and just get away. Pressures from finances and relationships can wreak havoc on your hearts and minds. And because of obligations and responsibilities there is often little time (or money) to do anything about it. So, why not create your own sacred space in your own home? There are many things you can do to turn an ordinary space in to a sanctuary. If you do not live alone, pick a room or area that is yours – and put your mark on it. The idea is for you to have your own place where you can go to relax. What you do there is entirely up to you: read a book, practice some yoga poses, write in your journal, etc. To get started you need to know what types of things calm you, and, at the same time, may inspire you. This is very personal, so if you have never thought about this before, it’s time you did. Your sacred place is meant to enliven your senses in a way that makes you playful and creative. This is your time to escape the rat race of the outside material world, and go within to your divine inner world (our inner Source) – where all the goodies lie. Experiment with colors, scents and textures Set the mood with candles, fill the air with the scent of lavender, and lay red silky pillows on the floor. Adorn your space with a stone Buddha statue or a serene yoga figurine. See how their presence affects you. Be patient, and fun with the process. Sit quietly in your space and feel how you are with the silence. Then try a little music in the background. Try Mozart or Deva Pemal (my favorite); musical tastes cover the gamut so pick something you like, which also puts you in a state leaning toward serenity. You may want to have a pretty container with some luxurious and beautifully scented cream. As you settle in your sacred space scoop some into your fingertips, and slowly massage the rich lotion into your hands and on your arms. While you are doing this, breathe. Do not worry about deep breathing or whether you are doing it correctly, just focus on the act of breathing itself. Have a glass of pure clean drinking water nearby. Treat yourself to a sip, and silently express your gratitude of being replenished in such a natural way. Look around you. Give yourself no expectations or goals to accomplish. This is your time to rest. If you feel the urge to write, pull out your journal or your big yellow pad and write. If you feel like laying on your back and letting go, do that. Listen to your intuition, and honor this divine message. This time, this space is for you. You not only deserve it, you need it – we all do. All too often we think of our needs last. You may think, “It’s okay, I can handle it.” The truth is when you ignore self-care, it becomes harder and harder to recover from the damage. And then the ways in which you implement your care will require more time (and more drastic methods) to be effective. Don’t wait until the universe forces you to focus on your needs. Stop, right now, and begin the process of envisioning your sacred space. Close your eyes, and visualize what your room will look like. Surf the net to get ideas, go to a nearby mall or art gallery, and call your friends and family. Inspirational items for your home don't need to be expensive. Check out my website (our Inner Source) for a wonderful selection of unique and calming pieces to adorn your sacred space. Just click on the inspirational gift shop. Have fun, and approach your task like an adventure. Create your own little sanctuary with your new best friend – you. Copyright 2007, Avenstar Enterprises, Inc./Our Inner Source

Achieve success three top tips

In this article today I want to share with you three top tips for success! Success to you could be many things; however we are all capable of a dream, just like we are all capable of achievement. Let me ask you a question – if you could do anything right now, what would you do? Maybe you would become a millionaire; maybe you would lose some weight, maybe you would buy a holiday home someplace hot or maybe you would like to just feel happier. Whatever you want to achieve, you can. It might not be simple to get to your goal, but it is achievable as only you set the limits on what is impossible. 1.Define your goal! This is the most important part as here you will work out exactly what you want to achieve. When thinking about your goal your mind will sometimes go off in a daydream as you start thinking about what you want to achieve. You need to make these daydreams positive, as when we daydream we are telling the subconscious parts of our brain what we want. This helps with tip two, but on to that in a minute. When you define your goal – make sure that it has no negative side effects. For instance, becoming a millionaire and having a gambling problem won’t really go hand in hand – you will need to deal with the gambling first as not to get yourself in a worse position. 2.Deal with your limiting beliefs! Limiting beliefs are like cancer to success. It is best to deal with them upfront and firmly. When we daydream our beliefs and our limiting beliefs get more of a foothold with in our brain and before long they just pop up automatically. Allow yourself to daydream about your achievement, but always allow it to be positive. Before long this new positive attitude will win through, stomping on any of the old limiting beliefs from the past. 3.Stop the complaining! Success is not always going to be easy – sometimes it means going out of your way. Don’t let yourself whinge or complain as this will only lower your moral. Just keep in mind all of the wonderful things that success and achievement are going to bring you! Keep an image in your mind of how great it is going to feel when you have achieved your goal and all of the wonderful things that will happen because of your success.

Therapy for therapists

Have you ever had a problem that seemed so stuck and so complicated that you just couldn’t get it straight in your mind? And the more you tried to make sense of it, the more complicated it seemed to get. We’ve all had a problem like that before, and it’s good to know that there are people in the world who make it their business to help others solve problems. But what happens when the person who is supposed to solve the problems is also confused by the problem? Who helps then? It’s useful to know that there is a wealth of resources to be had for those who make it their business to help others. At People Building, we have walked in all of those pairs of shoes. We have been that person with a problem, and know how that feels, that urgency to fee open one’s own mind. We have been the therapists helping the client with their problem, and we have even been the therapist who has once in a while listened to a client and thought “heck, what do I do here?” It’s great to be challenged in this way because we accept that no one person has access to all of the possible answers, and accepting this only drives us to discover the answers we haven’t yet got. Now, we are established as a support network for therapists also. Every week we receive inquiries such as therapists requesting Hypnosis scripts for problems they are unsure of how to tackle, or parents who are interested in our NLP for children programmes, wondering what small steps they can take to encourage their children. And unlike other popular training organisations we do one significant thing differently to other training companies that I approached when I was a therapist, feeling suck about a problem. The most meaningful thing that they do, is that they reply. And when they reply, they will point you in the best direction they know and offer the best suggestions they have. This in itself is unique - that a training company that is busy conducting NLP and hypnotherapy training courses reply to a message for help, let alone that they will help anyone in any way they can, even if that person has never actually trained with them - even if you have trained with a competitor training company. However, before you go ahead and call or email them, the best point of reference is their website. Here you will find Hypnosis scripts for hypnotherapists, hypnotherapy audio mp3’s and e-books to help you write your own hypnosis scripts, e-book of collections of hypnotherapy scripts and e-books to help quit smoking, improve confidence and relationships. There are also many other resources contained on the site, such as quizzes and personality tests which you might like to try out for yourself or refer you clients to so that they can discover more information about themselves and how their mind operates. They frequently publish a free hypnosis script in their free fortnightly newsletter, which also contains hint and tips on NLP based techniques that you might like to try out with your clients.

Learning french what makes the language unique

“Comment allez-vous?” Of course you would know right away that the sentence above is the French version for saying “how are you?” in English. Learning the French language can be more challenging compared to other foreign languages that most people find interesting in doing nowadays. The reason that French is challenging compared to Spanish, German and Italian is because it has a completely unique way of pronunciation. The French language is also tricky with some of the letters, each of which has different functions depending on the position it has on a word or a sentence. You have to be a good observer on this aspect. Not only that, the French language has a certain conversational style that sounds like a slurring sound. This is called liaison. In liaison alone, there are already several conditions which you need to follow and then a few more set of pronunciation rules. In response to French questions, you will also need to observe your intonation. Most of the time, a rising tone is only applicable for yes/no questions and on other things or simple conversational patterns, intonation goes to the end of the sentence. The only similarity the English and French language has is the number of the letters on the alphabet. Both languages have the complete A-Z alphabet. The next question is how can you learn and memorize the French language with all the contrasting characteristics the English and French language has? In memorization, there is a technique used to enhance memorization skills. This method can be used perfectly for learning a second language and any language to say the least. An example below shows how the technique works. Before you get to the other side of the building, you need to cross a long bridge over an extremely wide pond. The words are bridge and pond. But we used pond only to associate it with the French word pont which means “bridge” because the two words sound alike and the human mind will find it easy to link the two together as one word. The words can be found all in one silly sentence and it’s also great in allowing your brain to exercise, causing it to function and remember things better.

Timing in goal setting

When most of us set goals, we hold an expectation that everything will work out as planned. We have this picture in our minds of a smooth process from start to finish, easily achieving our goals without a hitch. This is especially true when it comes to the timing of our desired results! Let's face it; we wouldn't be setting goals in the first place if we didn't believe they were possible to achieve. Even if we expect a fair amount of difficulty in reaching our goals, we usually don't expect to encounter major delays and setbacks. Early in the game an optimistic mind-set can be a strong benefit because it gives us high confidence and strength to push through any preliminary obstacles that appear before us. However, as more and more time passes and our desired results aren't showing up - or worse, we continue to experience problem after problem, our determination begins to wane. We wonder what we've gotten ourselves into. We wonder if we were crazy to think we could accomplish something so difficult! Most importantly, we forget that there is one little aspect to any goal that is often beyond our control: timing. As much as we might like our results to show up quickly and easily, that is not always how it happens. When we find ourselves stuck, we have three choices: We can strengthen our focus and put forth a stronger quality of energy toward our desired outcome; we can build up our resolve to work through obstacles more persistently, or we can wait patiently for the timing to be exactly right. That last one is the stickler! We don't like to feel out of control, especially where our own lives are concerned. We don't like feeling that there is some mysterious "force out there" controlling what happens to us. There is no easy answer for why results don't appear when we expect them to. Each situation is different, as is each goal and the person setting it. When this happens to you, the important question to ask is not WHY it happens but what you will do when it does. Will you shove through obstacles with vicious determination? Will you find an easier path to your goal? Or will you wait patiently for obstacles to dissolve in their own time? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions; only what you choose for yourself. Like most people, you may find that certain outcomes cannot be rushed. No matter how hard you push, you will not be able to move forward until the timing is right. In situations like these, hindsight usually reveals clear reasons why you could not move ahead until the timing was exactly right. Perhaps you needed to wait for the assistance of someone who could provide the right opportunity to move ahead. Maybe you weren't emotionally ready to handle the responsibilities of your desired outcome and once you did some more work on your personal development, all obstacles simply melted away. There are endless possibilities for why the timing may not be right, but what can you do when you find yourself stuck? Two of the most beneficial steps have proven to be: 1) Do what you can. Remain open to the possibilities, re-evaluate your plans and see if you can make improvements or adjustments. 2) At the same time, be willing to detach from the exact timing of the outcome. This is not easy, but it can open up many doors for you! When you let go of trying to force something into being, you automatically decrease the pressure that deadlines place upon you. Because you feel more relaxed, you are better able to focus and awaken your creative thinking process. Through this creative insight, you may accidentally discover the perfect solution to your problem, or at least have more fun exploring possible workarounds. In the end, the length of time needed to achieve your goals is not nearly as important as the delicious satisfaction you get from seeing them through to the end. And when that day arrives, you'll believe only one thing: it was well worth the wait.